If someone talks about online dating, that brings up visions of E-harmony, Match.com and lame yuppies testifying their love stories and how grateful they are and how it's all thanks to this website or that website, etc etc. The majority of people would laugh it off, and say how one could not possibly be serious about finding love on the internet.
Who does that, I mean really?
......Okay, I have to make a confession.
I have also dabbled in this Potential-Dating-Via-The-Interwebs.
Of course I have, what other reason would I have for this post?
That being said, I tend to think I have a slightly different approach to it. The reason I haven't discounted the World Wide Web as a dating forum is because I have actually met a couple of interesting people.
After The Boy dumped me, I thought that online dating might be an option.
At the very least, it would give me something else to think about.
So I went on one of my older profiles on a certain site.
No, I won't tell you what site I was on.
But I will tell you that I did. I posted new pictures of myself. I edited and vamped up my profile.
I figured, what is there to lose?
And then it happened. The views. The PMs that kept popping up every time I logged on. Having to sift through the dozens of messages I was getting bombarded with, because I was basically new prey (and not too bad looking, I'd like to think). And last but not least, the creepers. Dear God, the creepers.
I'm not going to lie, it was flattering. No matter that the majority of these guys just wanted to get in my pants. The fact that they took the time to tell me how awesome my profile was, or how cute/beautiful/pretty/gorgeous/hot I was made me feel better about myself. Of course, guys say shit like this all the time to get laid. But after a short while, I had gotten a system down. The creepers would get told off, in a scathing reply. The guys that weren't interesting got ignored. And the cute ones would get replies.
I had some interesting conversations on there. It even got to the point where I wasn't really looking for anyone to date, but someone that seemed worth talking to. Getting to know someone over the internet has its good and bad points. You can talk to them about any number of subjects, and because you're not face to face there is more comfort. You can talk about things you normally wouldn't right away.
It's easier to get to know someone without all the awkwardness of seeing them in person, wondering if they think you look okay, if you are interesting or not. On the internet, if the conversation isn't going anywhere, it's easy to remedy that. Whether it be by clicking that little 'x' in the top right corner and not talking to them anymore or just finding something new to talk about at a later time, it's much easier to hold conversation because the pauses aren't awkward pauses.
I made friends, and had people that I could talk to. One guy in particular, let's call him Massachusetts, I hit it off with pretty well. I had been randomly perusing people's profiles, and had come across his. His profile was funny, light, and refreshing. Up until that point, the majority of guys' profiles held all the same boring stuff on it. 'I'm fun, I like to have a good time, I'm into sports, I'm down to earth, etc.' Blah blah blah. When I came across Massachusetts', I was so relieved to see someone that seemed normal, and had a sense of humor. Under the section of favorite TV shows, he had put: 'Jackie Chan Adventures'. I saw that, and thought, 'Hell yeah. This guy is obviously cool.' It also helped that I thought he was super cute, haha. So I did what I normally wouldn't do, I sent him the message. And he replied. And from there we just kept talking, and talking. If he lived in my area, I'd totally date him. But that's a bit unrealistic, so we are pretty good friends (I like to think). I'm actually talking to him at this very moment, if that shows how well we get along at all.
So yes, I had quite a number of good conversations. So much so, that I decided that it might be cool to actually meet one of these guys in my own area, to see how it would go.
It didn't go nearly as well as I thought. If it might clear things up a little, they were both military guys. I normally detest the military, and anyone associated with it, but they were both nerdy, seemed cool, and we talked pretty extensively so I thought it would be interesting to meet them. The first one was a complete and utter fail. We'll call him Ohio, since that's where he came from. He was younger than me by a couple of years, so that should have been the first warning sign. We hung out, and I was too caught up in having someone pay attention to me and think I was attractive to notice what should have stood out: He was young and needy. I overlooked the warning signs, and he became attached rather quickly. He asked me to be his girlfriend, and in a spur of the moment decision, aided and encouraged by my stupid friend (who is no longer my friend) and against my better judgment, I said, "Sure, I guess I can be your girlfriend." Boy, that was a seriously dumb move on my part. I ended up getting drunk the next night and sleeping with someone I had liked/been attracted to for a long while. Upon waking the next morning, I knew I had to end things. I let him know that I had gotten drunk and slept with a friend, and that it was completely unacceptable on my part, and that I couldn't be his girlfriend. If he wanted to remain friends, cool. If not, I understood. He, on the other hand, had other ideas. He still wanted to be with me. I should have just stopped talking to him then. But I felt bad, and continued to talk to him. Not even a month of knowing him, however, turned him into a Stage 5 Clinger. He told me he was falling in love with me, he even mentioned marriage multiple times. Oh no. After some drama, I decided to cut things off completely. Even then, he kept trying to remain in contact. He wouldn't delete my number when I asked him to, stating he wanted to remember me... You can remember me without having my number in your phone, buddy. I blocked him on multiple things: facebook, aim, skype, even that dating site (that I will still not name, haha).
I was horrified that something so small could turn into something so big. I didn't want to deal with it. So I became extremely picky with who I talked to on that website. I didn't want another Ohio incident to happen, ever again. Time passed, and I started talking to someone else. That turned out pretty similar, but not nearly to that level of communication. We talked, started texting, hung out, and he got too familiar. So I stopped talking to him too.
I didn't realize online dating had such pitfalls, I thought that it was easy. You make a profile, you write about yourself, you find someone interesting, you talk, you hang out, and there you go. I found out the hard way that online dating is really hit and miss. I know better now, and barely talk to anyone on there. There are a couple of people that I could potentially hang out with in the future, but that is in the far future. My radar is on, I'm extremely cautious about who I talk to.
If you want to go way back, back to the days of my teenage years, it's truth that I actually met The Boy over the internet.We were on a social/dating website, and he messaged me or I messaged him.
I don't really remember how it started, but I do know that I thought he was the hottest guy I had ever seen.
Blue eyes, black hair, he was such a dreamy punk/ska kid. He was also a couple of years older than me, so the fact that he had taken an interest in me was exciting and flattering, to say the least.
Months of correspondence, aim conversations and a break up on my end later, we met. And were attracted to each other. And eventually (you can probably see where this is going), we had sex.
And it was (again, you can probably see where this is going) effing amazing.
Not only did he and I keep in touch over the years, we became friends. Years down the line, we lived together and had become ensconced in a a serious relationship. Of course, we know how that turned out.
The point being that sometimes good things can come out of meeting people online.
I think, however, I might stay away from the internet when it comes to actually dating. I'm still open to it, but I'm probably going to see if I can't hang out with someone IRL. Hanging out with people I meet online doesn't seem like a good idea. Unless, of course, Massachusetts decides to visit. Haha. ;]
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