It's been quite a while since this has been updated. When last we met, I was in a bit of a rough spot.
Looking back, the gaffe I made is amusing, but at the time, it was such a terrible spot to be in.
Long story short, this guy that I had made a connection with, who I had been talking to for several months, wanted to cool things down because in the midst of a drunken sexcapade (yes, I said sexcapade.. I'm judging myself, trust me), I called out the name of The Boy. My ex - The Boy who, after all this time, was still in my life.
Horrible, I know.
It wasn't that I didn't care about this guy, I had feelings for him and wanted to see where they would take me. But that day was the day I had gotten some of the worst news of my life, and had consequently spent the entire day in mourning and drinking myself into a stupor. He was there for me that entire day, and for that I will always be grateful. However, late that evening, after a full day of drowning myself in alcohol, it appears that mind-blowing, awesome sex triggers muscle memory, in this case, in the form of my vocal chords acting out of their own volition. It wasn't even a quiet sound, it was loud. Loud, and mortifying.
(On a side note: this has actually to me one other time, with a rebound boyfriend. I didn't mean to at all, The Boy was the last thing on my mind, and yet, I said his name. I can only assume it's because my body and heart knew all along what and who I really wanted. That's what I like to tell myself, at least.)
Needless to say, his ardor was considerably cooled and so was our budding relationship-thing.
It was still salvageable, but it was at this point that things with said ex came to a head when I decided to call it quits, which prompted him to make a stand and declare that things could work between us, and end the thing he had with someone else provided I end the thing I had with the guy I was kind of seeing, so we could be exclusive. They say to be young is a wonderful thing, you can live your life and do what you want, but in reality, it is never as glamorous as television, movies, and literature make it out to be.
I'd like to say that we lived happily ever after, but again, real life is never so cut and dried.
We've had our problems, but the important thing to take away from it all is that we are there for each other, and work through issues, instead of fight against one another.
It's been over a year later, and things are wonderful. We have a beautiful home, a great relationship, and a future together. I wouldn't exchange my life for anything or anyone else. The Boy (yes, The Boy who is the cause of this blog even being in existence) is loving, supportive, funny, and complements me perfectly in every way. Looking back, it's taken a long time for us to finally be at this point that we are happy and both fully committed for the long haul. I have never been so content and happy as I have been now... except there is this one little thing that has been bothering me. Which, I might add, is a perfect example of human nature and how one can never be just plain content with what one has. It's (dun dun DUN) ...marriage.
After all is said and done, am I really letting the thought of marriage ruin my otherwise ideal relationship?
The answer is no. However, he is not the marriage type, and while I could easily see us spending our lives together, I know that a ceremony and all that entails is not for him, and therefore, not for me.
Who knows, maybe it'll happen when I least expect it.
After all, I never thought we would get back together.
As a matter of fact, I was 100% certain that was out of the question, and would never happen.
Yet, here we are. ;]
